Okay, let’s talk about the past few weeks. We’ve been yaya-less for about almost 3 weeks. That is a whole ‘nother story that I think I don’t even have the patience to talk about right now. Long story short though, she was supposed to go back last Sunday/Monday but I didn’t hear from her. I didn’t even bother texting or calling her the next day because I thought, if she really was sincere with everything she told me on the phone, she’d come back. But if not, okay lang. I honestly have gone through quite a few yaya break-ups, I know what to expect na and how to not get too heartbroken about it.

ANYWAY, so yeah. Yaya-less for almost 3 weeks. The first week (or a week and a half!) were the hardest. It took a while for us (mainly me!) to adjust to not having someone to halili or alternate with when I need to do something. I’ve basically done nothing on my To-Do/Want-To-Do list since I got back. And since Oscar is the one with the full-time job, it is my duty to care for the kids and just singit whatever stuff I need to do for work, for the blog or for our vlog. If you’re subscribed to our channel, you’ll notice I haven’t uploaded anything until today. I haven’t done so well with managing the free time I get when they’re napping or during after hours to do some editing for the vlog. I mostly took those time to breathe, relax, and actually have a meal that I don’t have to swallow whole.

Two weekends ago, our first lakwatsa just us 3. Yep, had to get a stroller!

Two weekends ago, our first lakwatsa just us 3. Yep, had to get a stroller!

But it’s been almost 3 weeks. In those almost 3 weeks, I have gotten to know my kids more than ever. It has been stressful, yes. Tiring, absolutely. But watching them 24/7 has given me the opportunity to learn more about them and actually figure out ways to help them grow to be who God meant for them to be in this world.

Joaquin is at this beautiful curiously learning and interactive age that I surely would have missed if I had a yaya around. He can sit down for 5-10 minutes going through books, or scribbling with a crayon, or stacking cups and putting shapes in the box. He is also full of attitude this one. He’s cranky, grumpy, but he’s also so sweet and would laugh at something so random that he’d actually tumble on his side and fall on the floor because he just can’t take the hilariousness of it.


He can finally have cereal! Vegan cereal that is.


Gross as it may be, got hugged all the stuffed animals and did the eskimo kiss with them. <3

He’s quick to learn too! He now feeds himself, knows that needs to wear slippers when we’re downstairs, knows to back-off when I say something or a place is off limits, he communicates when he needs milk and water, knows what going to bed and nap time means, and so much more! I’m pretty sure a bunch of these things, he already knew before, but since I was so busy with my life, I haven’t really been watching. One thing I’m most proud of is that he’s been more talkative. Since I talk him through everything from waking up ’til bed time, he has picked up a looot of words these past few weeks. His favorite? Cookie, binky, and Elmo.

Making pa-cute while watching Elmo.

Making pa-cute while watching Elmo.

He love playing the piano, or the guitar, or nothing! It's all fine with us.

He love playing the piano, or the guitar, or nothing! It’s all fine with us.

Jacob and I haven’t done formal homeschooling since December. Yup. We stopped doing our Daily Worksheet routine when the holidays came and we haven’t picked up ever since. Our homeschool calendar is still January. Go figure. To compensate for the lack of sit-down time, he’s been doing an online reading and math curriculum that I got him at the beginning of the year. He recently just finished Reading for Pre-K (he’s already in Kindergarten). He’s around 60% complete for Pre-K Math and we’re so happy he likes numbers! We found out he was good at it around January when Oscar opened up the addition flash cards. We’re also working on his coloring and writing skills. I’m so proud of this work he finished today (he started yesterday though and stopped because his hands were tired. Hi hi 😉 ). It was all him with his patient Momma by his side, guiding him.


We have drastically reduced his own screen time. By own screen time, I mean him watching his favorite kid youtubers on my phone or Oscar’s phone. We have banned him from watching those that have taught him language that we don’t appreciate him using (not exactly curse words). That may be another topic all together too. Anyway, he’s been more present (and more makulit!) than ever because of his limited screen time. He can only watch TV when all of us or he and Wacky are watching together, which is mostly during our down time from homeschool and playing. We’re working on some parts of our learning strategy because, as much as I don’t like comparing kids’ development and all, I’d like him to be able to communicate better with other kids.

Reduced screen time to tandem screen time with the lil bro.

Reduced screen time to tandem screen time with the lil bro.

It breaks my heart how often I lose my cool with him just because I am distracted and stressed. I am thankful for the last almost 3 weeks because I’ve slowed down. Way down. And I so, so, so appreciate how patient HE has been with his Mom. You won’t believe how much this kid has gone through. And no, not physical abuse, much worse, emotional abuse. He doesn’t deserve grumpy, there-but-not-there Mommy. He deserves the Mommy that I am right now. The Mommy who listens to him intently, no matter what he is saying. The Mommy who will sit down and patiently work with him on his homeschool lessons and not the Mommy who wants him to finish work quickly because she needs to do something else.

My sister is visiting from New Jersey and he got this from his cousin, Christina.

My sister is visiting from New Jersey and he got this from his cousin, Christina.

I’ve learned a lot of things about my kids. Good, bad. Things that I am so thankful to God for blessing them with, and a few things that are just basically rooting from humans being sinners from birth. It’s all a mix-mix of things really. I can’t help but be grateful though because I am here. I am present. To help them, mold and guide them through this life. We’ll work on the quirks together. At the end of the exhausting day, I look at them both, most of the time in triumph because I have finally put them to sleep, and see how I can easily miss things that they go through if I get too immersed with work, my interests, etc. Jacob is turning 5 in a few months. FIVE! Holy cow. I have a five year old.

Saw this on my Facebook timeline today. This is me every single day!

Saw this on my Facebook timeline today. This is me every single day!

Don’t get me wrong, ME TIME, is non-negotiable and very much appreciated. It’s something a Mom or Dad needs for sure. But I like where I am at. Sure, I have abused the Sesame Street YouTube Channel for breakfast, morning break, lunch, and dinner. But who cares?! We get. things. done! I felt sad when our yaya said she wanted to come home early to help us kasi kawawa daw si Wacky (how to translate this: Poor Wacky needs someone to take care of him?). For me, that means that I am not able to care for my kids by myself and that was a wake-up call. I actually told Oscar that I was having second thoughts about her ending her vacation early because I love being 100% hands on with the kids. But it’s something we need to be able to do even if there’s help. You know, be there.



Roxi is happily married and mom to two boys (#SantiagoBros!). Mommy blogger since 2010, work-at-home Mom as a virtual assistant and web designer at Mommy Mover.


  1. Ann Margot Gabris says:

    good job,mommy! being a 100% mom with so much stress?honestly,it’s worth it!!!

  2. My female friends who have kids always share with me how difficult it is when the nanny suddenly leaves the home or does something wrong and the family is left on their own. The thing though, these friends have full-time jobs so they really find it hard to take a leave from the office just to put the home in order. But those trying times are also opportunities for bonding moments, too, so when I read your post, I seem to recall all the stories my friends shared with me.

  3. Bhushavali says:

    Joaquin is so adorable. Love his curiosity. Kids learn so fast in this age group…

  4. Fred says:

    I can feel your struggles as a single parent. It can really be so challenging even for a couple to raise kids without a yaya. And above that you have decided to homeschool! Kudos to you and your untiring efforts for your kids.

  5. Franc Ramon says:

    At least you got to spend more time with your kids when their Yaya left. It’s much more difficult but you get to know your kids better.

  6. That must have been a stressful three weeks!! I guess the great thing about it is the kids get to depend on you more than anybody else. Good luck on finding a next yaya, hopefully one that keeps her promises

  7. It is always great to have one on one time with your kids. It can be hard to manage, but think of the benefits to them and you. Great quality time.

  8. A blessing in disguise, when yaya is not around you take care of the kids and get closer to them.

  9. fred erick says:

    i have a friend with a 2 year old son and she also works online. She said it is really difficult without a yaya. Kudos for surviving that 3 weeks.

  10. Elizabeth O. says:

    It’s really difficult to maintain a household without help especially when you have kids/toddlers. You will start to give up cleaning after them and just move on and do something else. Lol. Good to know you’ve adjusted though.

  11. Erica says:

    Oh, motherhood. I don’t have kids yet and I’m not ready just yet but I already know how stressful and crazy it would be. It must take a lot of patience!

  12. Tiffany Yong says:

    Learning about your baby must be an enjoyable and fun experience. This is something I think I will learn to enjoy when time comes 🙂

  13. I must say spending time and see them growing up is the best thing we enjoy but at the same time it is so taxing on mums but we have an assurance that they are in a safe hands.

  14. The kids are so insanely adorable ahhh!!! I wouldn’t get anything done if I had younger siblings like this 😀

  15. Shubhada says:

    I exactly faced the same situation just a few weeks back and my thoughts are very similar to yours. It is taxing but it is fun too!

  16. Barely Vegan says:

    I’m not a mom yet, but I feel your pain. Your children are ADORABLE!!!

  17. Ahuose says:

    Your little son, Joaquin, seems sooo smart and to be learning fast. Imagine him knowing and obeying house rules! Being stressed out and short of nerves is what makes you human. You sound like a super mum. I am sure your kids love you too!

  18. George Felix says:

    Great read! Thanks for sharing this. Your kids are adorable and you are an excellant mommy!

  19. Lee Rosales says:

    Raising kid is not easy. But a precious moment to treasure

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